the art of acceptance
11/1/2024 - please let me live God I try the pill, i swallow withdraw maybe it's best this way. i can't control anything, i can't become anything shutting out the world, crawling back into my own cuccoon hiding, waiting to bloom again into a beautiful butterfly i take one step in front of the other. work, home, doctor, grocery store. work, her house, her house, and then another girl's house. home. grocery store, doctor. then home. mundane. there are people screaming outside my window. i never thought gunshots are something i'd become used to hearing. whenever i listen to sad songs it hurts, so i don't. but i love to torture myself every once in a while. i wonder if i can even be this raw on the blog. this vulnerable. maybe if i travel, things will be okay. i should've stuck with it. i don't know why i let people convince me to stay home. be mindful. clock ticks, and i wonder if i'm actually running out of time. if this time i have is actually all i
